Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
