Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
