i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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