His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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