love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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