he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
