So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Randomize
