i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
