I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
