none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
