I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize
