There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
