I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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