To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Randomize
