my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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