This girl is more easily done than said...
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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