This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
