I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Sober January is a disaster.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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