There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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