remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
