I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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