I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
