So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Actions speak louder than pants.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Please don't give away my fajitas
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
