I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
