Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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