Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
