sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
