I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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