i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
