You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
