I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
