I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
my penis made a compromise with my morals
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
