she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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