Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
What a fucking waste of an outfit
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
