so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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