I think I am morally bankrupt
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
