1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
