member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
We need to rekindle our bromance
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
