The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
