I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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