is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
