help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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