I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
