The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
