why im i the only drunk person in the library?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Enjoy the penises
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
