After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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