At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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