My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
