Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
There are leaves in my underwear?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
