if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
