dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
