whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize