not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
it's like iHOP with fire
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
