but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
