I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
