i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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