508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
