I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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