fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
